TURNING YESTERDAY INTO STRENGTH FOR TODAY AND TOMORROW
DR ASHA KUMARI
Standing in a kitchen cooking something, a song coming from the background from somewhere far I went into my college hostel—dancing with my bestie the sounds of the laughter around that echoed, my heart started dancing suddenly I realized I was singing the notes that I didn’t knew—that’s nostalgia arrived quietly but powerfully unwrapping memories that felt comforting and was bittersweet.
Nostalgia sometimes is a pleasant escape and sometimes feels like an ache—it’s a longing for a time that feels safer, simpler, and somehow more alive.
Many of us are looking back more frequently in a world that is moving more quickly than before. Dealing with nostalgia is not about putting an end to it, but about how to tackle it in a way that enhances rather than diminishes the present.
The Real Essence of Nostalgia
Nostalgia is a self-reflective emotion, according to psychologists. It aids in patching together the narrative of our identity.
We reaffirm who we are when we recall significant events: I was loved. I had courage. I was important, likewise.
However, reality can be distorted by nostalgia. Nostalgia is an edited highlight reel rather than an objective recording like memory.
We soften the edges and remove the stress, boredom, and uncertainty that were also there at the time.
“Those were the best days” can seem so plausible because of this.
The secret is to understand that nostalgia is selective, and that’s acceptable.
When Longing for the Past Becomes Unhealthy
When nostalgia becomes a measuring stick, it is no longer useful. Every current moment will nearly always fall short if it is compared to an idealized past.
You might notice it when you have trouble being totally present, relive the same memories, or feel restless for no apparent reason.
Nostalgia during these times is frequently more about discomfort with the present than it is about the past.
Significant life transitions—a new city, a breakup, a career shift—often make the past feel safer than it was.
Ask yourself, “What did that time provide that I’m missing now?” rather than, “Why can’t it be like that again?”
Was it a Relationship? Simplicity? Excitement? Connection? Ease?
When you uncover the need beneath the memory, nostalgia stops being longing and becomes a direction.
Let Nostalgia Comfort You, Not Confine You
Going back in time is perfectly acceptable. It can be reassuring and grounding to watch a classic like The Office, look through old photo albums, or listen to music from a different time period.
These customs serve as a reminder of continuity—that we have developed, endured, and changed altogether, and we have evolved.
Balance is crucial. Don’t live there, but savor the memory.
“Dual awareness” is a useful technique that involves gently grounding oneself in the present while remembering.
Take note of your location. Take note of who you are now.
The individual recalling the event is not the same person who experienced it.
Today, you are more knowledgeable, resilient, and experienced.
It’s growth, not loss.
From Missing to Making
If nostalgia reminds you of something you miss, try to recreate some of it in your present life.
Do you miss the in-depth discussions from college? Host a small party, get together, or give an old friend a call, or a conference call or Zoom call.
Do you miss being creative when you were a teenager? Take up that neglected pastime or hobby.
Missing impromptu? Make an unstructured plan.
Aim to reintroduce the elements that gave the past significance rather than chasing the exact past, which is unachievable.
If you allow it, nostalgia can serve as a compass.
Practice “Future Nostalgia”
One of the most powerful ways to manage your nostalgia is to turn it around.
Think about yourself ten years from now and what this period in your life will mean to you then.
What will you miss?
Your current routines. The sound of someone’s laugh. Your energy, your ambition, your daily rituals.
This exercise can create gratitude in the moment.
It can help you see that the current moment isn’t waiting around for the next great thing; it is the next great thing.
Embrace Change as the Purpose
At its essence, nostalgia is proof of change.
You can’t miss something that has never mattered to you.
The ache is proof that you’ve loved, lived, and grown.
Life is not meant to stay the same.
Each season has something that the others don’t.
The past had its magic and its limitations, too.
The present has its own, its own feel, though it may not yet be recognizable because you’re living in it.
Working with your nostalgia is not about avoiding it or getting caught up in it, either.
It’s about treating it tenderly.
Let it remind you of who you’ve been, without forgetting who you’re becoming.
The truth is, the things you miss were once the days that didn’t seem so special.
And today, quietly, without any fanfare, may be turning out to be one of them.
(The author is Project Associate-II, CSIR-Indian Institute of Toxicology Research, Lucknow.)
